Diary of a Wine Clubber - Day 8

Day 8 of nominating myself to post 12 wine reviews in 12 days... and people are starting to question my substance intake. Let me be clear, this was one of those ideas where I saw an opportunity to show off and it's almost back fired. I am in no way advocating for this level of wine consumption. It's getting gross.

It reminds me a little of a Sunday morning I had in the back of a Ballarat Hair Salon. We were partying it up at 4am in a small waxing room, and I willingly drank the dregs of a Carton Draught/Ciggie Butt cocktail for the bargain price of $19. Someone else had said they’d do it for $20. I don’t like missing out. They gave me the $19 collection in a pile of coins. From memory, I felt like a winner.

An interesting self perception. I’ve never really been one for learning lessons.

I’m starting to feel a bit like the guy from the McDonald’s experiment ‘Supersize Me’. He ate only Maccas for an entire month to see ‘what would happen’. We knew what would happen. Everyone knew what would happen. What did he think would happen? What a dumb shit. I am also a dumb shit. My skin is as pimply as a hormonal teenager and I look like I’m nearly ready to give birth to premature triplets. If a farmer found me laying on my side in the middle of a paddock moaning, I’d be stabbed in the guts with a pen. That's a given.

Anyway, I did not lose with this wine. This wine was the bees knees! The duck’s nuts!! This was the Jacinda Adern of the wine box.

It made me feel like someone had just cleaned my oven without me asking them to. Or that Donald Trump was no longer president of the United States. Or that I was allowed to hug people again. This was the simple, yet elegant bottle of the great ‘Liz Richardson’s 2019 Merlot’. Liz Richardson, if I had an award for wine, you would have just won it.

The app also let’s me know that it's vegetarian. I love a good wine with steak, but steak in my wine is a different story. Would save time though if dinner was served inside the wine. Good thinking. I'm taking that idea to Shark Tank.

The app also informs me that this wine is only 75c per litre. That sounds like excellent value! It’s a shame I didn't have a pedometer on today so I knew exactly how many miles I got to the tank.

(Ok, so in my later research I discovered that 75cl refers to the bottle size and not the price at the pump. Who knew? I probably should have. That maths never added up!)

It’s a solid 9.5/10 for you Liz Richardson. Well played.

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